Loathing:
- Finals start on Friday. I'm anxious for all of them, but especially the ones on Friday and Tuesday.
- My meyer lemon meringue pie melted. I made it for the faculty advisor's dinner last week, at Dr. Brandes's and Dr. Welch's house, and forgot to tell them that it needed to stay in the fridge until it was ready to be served. While it still tasted good, it was a soupy mess, and a little embarrassing after the success of the key lime pie that I made the last time (which they loved so much that I made them another for Christmas).
- Valentine's Day the weekend before finals. ::Growl::
- Fred, who continues to be better than television. He woke me up very early this morning for breakfast and to play. I tried to ignore him, but he purrs like a jet engine. I wish I had a socially-appropriate way to show that I was as happy as he is all the time. He and his brother, together, are better than television.
- Movie afternoons... I watched like, five movies while studying on Saturday, many of them Disney movies. I might repeat this weekend, at least one day.
- Good Alaskan salmon. I finally got around to making one of the fish that Juliette brought back and it was easily the best salmon I've ever cooked with or made.
This song came on randomly in my iTunes today, and as I was listening to it, I caught the lyrics. And as I caught the lyrics, I got hit kind of hard. It's been that kind of week, kids. I'm tired and frustrated and I crave resolution. It's off the Daytrotter recording, but I think the original recording is on Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls and Boys" album.
I'm not really sure what the fascination with intravaginal laparoscopy is. At first, I guess it was kind of cool that we could take out an appendix without leaving a scar... except for that the scar is pretty minimal for laparoscopic appendectomies anyway. Now, I just feel like surgeons have this bizarre fascination with seeing what kinds of things we can pull out of a woman's body via her vagina.
It's not even like the size of a kidney is impressive. Women push 9-pound, 22" infants out of them all the time... so the size of a kidney - even an adult one - isn't all that impressive. It's all about traffic, and making sure that you don't cut any of the stuff between vagina and kidney.
Laparoscopy is strange to me anyway, because it feels very much like surgery via video games. The surgeon has toys and a camera, and the goal is to perform the surgery by snaking these instruments and a flashlight and a camera around via a very small incision. It's fine for an appendectomy, which is (I am told -- having no real basis for comparison yet) a relatively simple procedure.
But removing a kidney is a Big Deal. It's one where I want there to be a big incision - because that's how I can guarantee that my surgeon is being thorough. I'm not impressed by aesthetics here - there are vessels to redirect and tubes to tie. Your kidney gets 20% of your blood supply - I'd like to keep as much of that in me as I can, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of an impaired view of what he/she is working with. I don't want any ruptured arteries, or nicked bowels (...ew).
Plus... if I'm giving a kidney away, I think that's a scar I would want, and one I would be okay with seeing.
That being said, my personal views on any such matter should not be taken into account when making medical decisions. I am generally okay with laparoscopy - it's a wonderful tool for many surgeries, especially gallbladder removal. Kidney removal is commonly done by laparoscopy, anyway... I'm just not wild about the idea of a kidney being removed via this point of access. I don't think that vaginas are disgusting... I just don't think that the aesthetic concerns here merit a scar "there," rather on your abdomen, and I don't like the idea of what would happen if there was a complication via that route of access.
That's all. I should really go to bed.
I've really got to get back into the habit of writing regularly again.
Loathing:
- My apartment, which at the moment still smells really bad. My roommate killed an aluminum pan on Sunday night that still had a half batch of brownies in them. Think you want to know what really, really done brownies smell like? Think again.
- Impending finals... a week from Friday, they start again. I just feel like I'm always testing now. Can't wait for this quarter to be over.
- P.F. Chang's... went for a friend's birthday tonight, and was just really unimpressed. Nobody's food looked particularly good, and the brown rice was not cooked enough... thus confirming my hypothesis that it is a chain catering to suburbanites who want a very sanitized Chinese food experience.
- Not being able to sleep. I'm never tired when I need to be lately, and always tired when it's very inconvenient.
- The funk I've been in the last week or so. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I've been more reticent lately, and just generally not feeling good about myself for any number of reasons.
Loving:
- My new-to-me television, a gift from my friend Matt, who moved back to California this week and didn't want to take it with him. It feels so state-of-the-art to me - it has a flat screen, and it has a working remote control!
- My kitten-almost-a-cat, Fred. He has gotten very big (especially compared to his brother), but he loves me quite completely and is the sweetest cat ever.
- The new brownie recipe. I've been working on my brownie recipe for well over a year now, trying very hard to come up with one that is fudge-y, rather than cake-y. I've always felt like my homemade brownies don't match up particularly well to the ones in the box, but knew that there had to be a better way to make brownies that weren't so full of processing and chemicals. These brownies alone as good as the boxed kind - with a handful of chocolate chips and another of walnuts, they are the best brownies I have ever eaten.
- The professor coordinating summer research at school. She's this tiny old Jewish lady, who is herself hilariously funny, and moreover, thinks that I am hilariously funny. The best half-hour of my week last week, such a pick-me-up.
- Spending time with friends who don't go to medical school. It's so nice to know that there's a world outside all of this.
We all want something beautiful.
Man, I wish I was beautiful.
The mailman brought my dress for Lacey's wedding today! I love it so hard - it's like the dress that you always knew you needed, but for some reason never bought. Kudos to Lacey for letting me pick my own dress, and for being such a great friend. She has been going through a lot lately, and fighting on a million fronts, but I'm super-proud of her for handling it all with so much strength. I can't wait until March!!
(Pictures follow when there is someone here who will take pictures of me in said dress...)
100 Things In Life
[copied from dora who (copied from: Dewitte and other peeps)]
Copy the list and highlight the things you've done.
Give your readers MUCH more than they ever wanted to know about you!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (but I'm not sure how much wind ensemble counts...)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a
mountain
9. Held a
praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny-dipping
27. Run a
Marathon
28. Ridden
in a gondola in Venice)
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a
home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen
Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock-climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been
transported in an ambulance
47. Had your
portrait painted
48. Gone
deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started
a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten
caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on
a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the
Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a
brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the
entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a
book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a
baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been in a lawsuit
98. Owned a mobile phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day
Melissa: "Should I caps lock that?"
Rob: "Yeah, because caps lock is cruise control for cool."
Stephanie: "You know what I've realized about the Disney channel?"
Rob: "That it's the waiting room for porn stars?"