Today's Weather Report

Happies

Finals are over and I am Charleston-bound!!

Loathing:

• Finals start on Friday. I'm anxious for all of them, but especially the ones on Friday and Tuesday. 
• My meyer lemon meringue pie melted. I made it for the faculty advisor's dinner last week, at Dr. Brandes's and Dr. Welch's house, and forgot to tell them that it needed to stay in the fridge until it was ready to be served. While it still tasted good, it was a soupy mess, and a little embarrassing after the success of the key lime pie that I made the last time (which they loved so much that I made them another for Christmas).
  
• Valentine's Day the weekend before finals. ::Growl::

• Fred, who continues to be better than television. He woke me up very early this morning for breakfast and to play. I tried to ignore him, but he purrs like a jet engine. I wish I had a socially-appropriate way to show that I was as happy as he is all the time. He and his brother, together, are better than television.
• Movie afternoons... I watched like, five movies while studying on Saturday, many of them Disney movies. I might repeat this weekend, at least one day.
• Good Alaskan salmon. I finally got around to making one of the fish that Juliette brought back and it was easily the best salmon I've ever cooked with or made.
  

This song came on randomly in my iTunes today, and as I was listening to it, I caught the lyrics. And as I caught the lyrics, I got hit kind of hard. It's been that kind of week, kids. I'm tired and frustrated and I crave resolution. It's off the Daytrotter recording, but I think the original recording is on Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls and Boys" album.

02 Breakable

Ingrid Michaelson

HOPKINS TRANSPLANT SURGEONS REMOVE HEALTHY KIDNEY THROUGH DONOR’S VAGINA

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/Press_...

February 2, 2009-  In what is believed to be a first-ever procedure, surgeons at Johns Hopkins have successfully removed a healthy donor kidney through a small incision in the back of the donor’s vagina.

I'm not really sure what the fascination with intravaginal laparoscopy is. At first, I guess it was kind of cool that we could take out an appendix without leaving a scar... except for that the scar is pretty minimal for laparoscopic appendectomies anyway. Now, I just feel like surgeons have this bizarre fascination with seeing what kinds of things we can pull out of a woman's body via her vagina.

It's not even like the size of a kidney is impressive. Women push 9-pound, 22" infants out of them all the time... so the size of a kidney - even an adult one - isn't all that impressive. It's all about traffic, and making sure that you don't cut any of the stuff between vagina and kidney.

Laparoscopy is strange to me anyway, because it feels very much like surgery via video games. The surgeon has toys and a camera, and the goal is to perform the surgery by snaking these instruments and a flashlight and a camera around via a very small incision. It's fine for an appendectomy, which is (I am told -- having no real basis for comparison yet) a relatively simple procedure.

But removing a kidney is a Big Deal. It's one where I want there to be a big incision - because that's how I can guarantee that my surgeon is being thorough. I'm not impressed by aesthetics here - there are vessels to redirect and tubes to tie. Your kidney gets 20% of your blood supply - I'd like to keep as much of that in me as I can, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of an impaired view of what he/she is working with.  I don't want any ruptured arteries, or nicked bowels (...ew).

Plus... if I'm giving a kidney away, I think that's a scar I would want, and one I would be okay with seeing.

That being said, my personal views on any such matter should not be taken into account when making medical decisions. I am generally okay with laparoscopy - it's a wonderful tool for many surgeries, especially gallbladder removal. Kidney removal is commonly done by laparoscopy, anyway... I'm just not wild about the idea of a kidney being removed via this point of access. I don't think that vaginas are disgusting... I just don't think that the aesthetic concerns here merit a scar "there," rather on your abdomen, and I don't like the idea of what would happen if there was a complication via that route of access.

That's all. I should really go to bed.

I've really got to get back into the habit of writing regularly again.
Loathing:

• My apartment, which at the moment still smells really bad. My roommate killed an aluminum pan on Sunday night that still had a half batch of brownies in them. Think you want to know what really, really done brownies smell like? Think again.
• Impending finals... a week from Friday, they start again. I just feel like I'm always testing now. Can't wait for this quarter to be over.
• P.F. Chang's... went for a friend's birthday tonight, and was just really unimpressed. Nobody's food looked particularly good, and the brown rice was not cooked enough... thus confirming my hypothesis that it is a chain catering to suburbanites who want a very sanitized Chinese food experience.
• Not being able to sleep. I'm never tired when I need to be lately, and always tired when it's very inconvenient.
  
• The funk I've been in the last week or so. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I've been more reticent lately, and just generally not feeling good about myself for any number of reasons.
  

• My new-to-me television, a gift from my friend Matt, who moved back to California this week and didn't want to take it with him. It feels so state-of-the-art to me - it has a flat screen, and it has a working remote control!
• My kitten-almost-a-cat, Fred. He has gotten very big (especially compared to his brother), but he loves me quite completely and is the sweetest cat ever.
• The new brownie recipe. I've been working on my brownie recipe for well over a year now, trying very hard to come up with one that is fudge-y, rather than cake-y. I've always felt like my homemade brownies don't match up particularly well to the ones in the box, but knew that there had to be a better way to make brownies that weren't so full of processing and chemicals. These brownies alone as good as the boxed kind - with a handful of chocolate chips and another of walnuts, they are the best brownies I have ever eaten.
• The professor coordinating summer research at school. She's this tiny old Jewish lady, who is herself hilariously funny, and moreover, thinks that I am hilariously funny. The best half-hour of my week last week, such a pick-me-up.
• Spending time with friends who don't go to medical school. It's so nice to know that there's a world outside all of this.
  

We all want something beautiful.
Man, I wish I was beautiful.

The mailman brought my dress for Lacey's wedding today! I love it so hard - it's like the dress that you always knew you needed, but for some reason never bought. Kudos to Lacey for letting me pick my own dress, and for being such a great friend. She has been going through a lot lately, and fighting on a million fronts, but I'm super-proud of her for handling it all with so much strength. I can't wait until March!!

(Pictures follow when there is someone here who will take pictures of me in said dress...)

Melissa: "Should I caps lock that?"
Rob: "Yeah, because caps lock is cruise control for cool."

Stephanie: "You know what I've realized about the Disney channel?"
Rob: "That it's the waiting room for porn stars?"